Mommy Advice

My niece, Paula is having her first child this year and asked everyone to write out their advice for her so that she can put in a scrap book. Below is the advice I gave to her:



Dear Paula and Julio,


I’ve learned a couple of things being a mommy the last eight years that I hope can help you both. Firstly, don’t deny people the pleasure of doing something nice for you, ask for help or accept offers.


Hold your child as often as you like. Children need to feel secure and it’s not true that you’ll spoil them. The infant stage goes by in a blink of an eye and soon enough Xavier will be walking and not want to be held anyway so enjoy it while it lasts.


Children are born with a personality and the most you can do is influence them to be their best you can’t change who they are. Work with your child’s personality instead. You have to figure out how they learn best then change your teaching style to match their learning style.


Very importantly, know that children want the same things you do, kindness, love and respect. Your child will only say, please and thank you if you say please and thank you. Your child will learn to apologize if you learn that it is sometimes necessary for you to apologize to your child. Yes, children will wear you down because they have more energy than you can gather up in a life time; However, never lose sight of the fact that they are explorers in a new world and what drives them is curiosity not the intent to drive you crazy. When your child does something wrong, step away and think about how it feels when you kiss and hug your child and also try to remember how you felt as a child when you did something wrong. When you are calm enough to let your child know that for every action there’s a reaction go and talk to them with kindness, love and respect.


Start the day with I love you, say it a few more times throughout the day and put them to bed with an, I love you. Children learn through repetition so if you want them to be sure of your love, never stop telling them you love them. The bonus is that they start saying it back and there is nothing more beautiful than to hear you child tell you they love you.


Finally, and most importantly, don’t talk about anyone in front of your child. Children are sponges and they will repeat everything you say!!!



Love, Aunt Ary